CAKE Byte - Unzipped

Last week, we asked you to tackle a desperate plea from a male CAKE member - the poor lad was having major issues making his wife orgasm - remember...

"Hi, (help) I need to find a way to make my wife have a orgasm. I am almost positive that she has never felt an orgasm. Is there a solution?"

Boy, did you ever answer the call. We received hundreds of responses with suggestions, tips and advice. Of course, you all know that CAKE insists on at least one orgasm a day to keep your complexion rosy, but hell, we are flabbergasted when we find out that some women have never had an orgasm. Mon Dieu! This guy's situation called for CAKE to the rescue...

Looking to the world of music, there are ever so many suggestions of "what you need"... On one hand, you may hear that "All You Need is Love". On the flipside, if you've tried and tried, and he just isn't doing it for you, there are always "50 Ways To Leave Your Lover." Somewhere in between there are a thousand ways to get a good girl off. Straight from the sometimes lyrical world of CAKE - here are our tips to "unzipping" a CAKE.Girl. While there is no ONE "how-to" set of tips to get ALL women off, with the right encouragement and direction from CAKE.Girls, any guy can make us purrrrrr.

Tips to "unzipping" a CAKE.Girl - from women who know a thing or two about getting off.

Back to Basics: One has to wonder if our boy knows where the clit is? If not, then perhaps he should hang out in anatomy class before that big O day. Draw a map in the shape of a peach pit with the points of the pit at north or south. Take a large black felt tipped marker and make a dot at the north point. That's where the clit is. Attention to the area is crucial to most women's ability to orgasm. Got it? Now don't forget it. Once he knows where it is, and he gets in her in the mood he must be patient, give her relaxation time, and do all the licking, sucking, rubbing, kissing, and nibbling (any anything else she wants). After Clit 101 you can graduate to G-Spot theory.

G-spot Stimulation: How to find it - using a finger or two, go inside and feel along the front wall of the vagina. You'll probably have to go in fairly deep. Everything feels all sort of ridgy and folded in there, but then you'll find a smooth spot about the size of a quarter. If she's not turned on and you press on it she'll probably feel like she has to pee, or it will be uncomfortable. If she is turned on it may feel very good. This is one way to tell if you've gotten her sufficiently warmed up. Jane finds that "the best way to stimulate a woman's g-spot is to rapidly pulse the fingers against it especially if you add a little tongue or pressure to the clit." Once she gets to know where her G-spot is, find positions during intercourse that will stimulate it. From behind usually works well. Hell - you might even make her ejaculate - a nice side effect of a really good g-spot orgasm. For more, check out CAKE Byte 48.0: CAKE.Educate.

Warm it up and cool it off: Hot toddies aside, a good woman likes to be juiced up. This can take anywhere from a second to a nicely planned out several hours of good clean fun. A rule of thumb may be to concentrate on her breasts and the rest of her body before getting down to her CAKE. As REL likes it "Get her to dress up sexy. You dress up sexy. Romance. Candles. Wine. A little pot if that's your thing. Tease her, tease her, and tease her. Get her hot, leave her alone. Get her hot, leave her alone. i.e. - roast slowly until a tender brown. It's part of the tease and space out thing. You got to warm up, cool down, warm up, cool down."

Relax: Don't "try" to give her an orgasm, and realize that she cannot "try" to have one. In this case, it's not the thought that counts. Give her what feels good - and that will most likely lead to an orgasm. Let her know when you start that you can go all night. No need for her to feel she has to rush it. "Women are pleasers and we can get so caught up in wanting to make sure our partner is satisfied and happy at all times that we forget about ourselves. Let her know that pleasing her is all the stimulation you need. Let her know she doesn't have to make any noise. And know yourself that sometimes, when a woman goes all still and limp and looks like she fell asleep, she's really floating in a sea of pure ecstasy. How to tell the difference between sleep and bliss? - Check in!!!"

Do the Dishes???: An orgasm can be linked to all parts of a woman's body and all parts of a woman's life. Make a woman feel good out of bed and she'll feel good in bed. Ariana wants him to go so far as to "clean the house, taker her on a nice date of her choice, give her a massage, give her a compliment or two, then proceed with the evening on her clues...all that kissing, touching, licking, sucking and loving is very important!"

Be Cunning: Oral sex is the best way for boys to learn every part of their girl's vagina. Michelle advises using "clitoral stimulation with your tongue...then, after a while, use your fingers/ dildo/ vibrator/ cucumber/ whatever! to penetrate her...works like a charm for me." For a very specific, explicit explanation check out CAKE Byte - Let them eat CAKE.

Be Fantastic: You all know how CAKE feels about living a fantasy-filled life. One key step to orgasm is to encourage your girl to fantasize. Better yet, tell her your fantasies. Or if she's too shy, make sure she knows it's okay to imagine herself in all sorts of situations without you. For real life inspiration from other women's sex lives, check out the SURRENDER section.

Self-Love: In the words of the great masturbation guru Betty Dodson herself, self-loving is the first step to understanding what positions, pressures, fixations, elations and vibrations get your goat. "First, make sure she's learned in the art of masturbation. If not, it's time for her to learn. After she gets into the whole self-love thing--REALLY into it--she should at know what an orgasm feels like. That's a start. Then give her persistent, hot oral sex. Just make sure you don't neglect her clitoris! This idea may sound nuts but it worked for me." -Jane

Michelle wants you to "encourage her to stroke herself, she may be able to orgasm herself as you watch and gain ideas. As she does touch and stroke herself she may be excited with your reaction whatever that may be. Relaxation is the key she must be in the correct frame of mind, dinner a glass of wine etc. Semi nakedness may assist here." Or better yet, masturbate FOR HER ˆ lots of women report that it is a MAJOR turn-on for them to see you stroke it like you would without them around.

Multi-task: (e.g., a yummy mix of all of the above and then some...) Mix it together, change it up, shock and surprise her. Be a shy sex puppy one day and a crazy porno tiger the next. Never be afraid to change the dynamic or try new things.

Above all else - Enjoy! Now, go to it.

Special thanks to REL, Lex, Ariana, Michelle, Jane and all the other CAKE.Girls who have made the day of the wife in question!

Question of the week:

All right boys, now it is your turn to let us in on the secrets of making you orgasm. Give CAKE the juicy details. Submit and read responses from last week's question in the REPORT section.

Love,
CAKE
www.CAKEnyc.com