CAKE Byte - Dirty Talkin'

"I like to tell him that he’s a pirate and I am his captive…" proclaims one CAKE.Girl on a kiss and tell mission that had us all enraptured over dinner the other night. "It's an ongoing Penzantial saga, a Bluebeard epic, Captain Hook at his finest, if you will. I've had this fantasy since childhood - they tie me up, take me away aboard their black masted schooner and sail me off into the unknown. Now, when I am with my lover, I have taken to relaying the naughty hijinx with my fantasy band of pirates, and he, with his eye patch and peg leg - is the dirtiest rat of all - oh baby ....take out that cutlass and make me walk that plank ...."

Of course, after going home and testing out our own fast talking methods on our respective beaus, we got thinking here at CAKE - what other dirty talkin’ techniques do women use when they want some loving? Are you a screamer? Or do you like to whisper? Salacious groans and moans your gig? Or, is it sweet nothings for you? Oh yeah baby, there’s nothing like some good dirty talk to get US in the mood. One thing is for sure, CAKE wants you to know that you are not alone - we dig dirty talkin’!

Too bad no one teaches this stuff, writes it down, or for that matter tape records it for future reference! Oh, the things they never told you in health class. Dirty talking is all about giving it raw. Doing it well. Getting your fuck on. There's no attention to grammar, no punctuation to hold you back, no ifs, ands, or buts, predicates, nominates, or conjunctions. This is not about the ins and outs of "school house rock" - just you, your lover, letting your inner nasty freak fly in a moment of unbridled passion. Ohhhh - unbridled passion. That's hot.

But really, the main goal of dirty talkin’ is to tell him what you want, or rather, what he can do for you - in a sexy, uncompromised manner. Our favorites include, the very direct - "Kiss my CAKE!" (a great euphemistic phrase for "suck my clit!"), to the very coy "I want you inside of me.", "Do me from behind" and "Fuck my brains out". On the flipside, there's nothing better then when your lover can reciprocate in kind! Even the most prudent of prudes will feel the temperature in her loins rise when she hears "I'm going to eat your pussy till the cows come home". He said, she said ... all of a sudden, you are flying back and forth with more naughty verbiage then you ever know existed. The subliminal takes over and everything you've seen, read, heard, thought of - it all comes to the tip of your tongue and beyond.

You know the deal - in that moment where the two of you are connected, in sync, breathing heavy and sighing with pleasure, engaged in some pretty serious love making, you are compelled, no - obligated is more like it - to speak, utter a sound, quote a verse, tell a story… to TALK! It makes perfect sense. The ingredients are simple. Start slow, work your way up to the pirate fantasy. Practicing alone may be a good start! We promise, once you integrate some dirty talk into your lovemaking mix, things will never be the same. At its best, dirty talking is an extremely direct communication tool - it ensures that you get what you want and he will, in turn, love you for it.

Remember, next time you feel the urge, you might want to scream out - Kiss my CAKE!

Question of the week

For more dirty talkin' inspiration, check out Georgia's inspirational tale in the Surrender section. In the meantime, you might want to share your own - What’s your favorite dirty talkin’ technique? Give CAKE the juicy details. Submit and read responses from last week's question in the REPORT section.

Love,
CAKE