CAKE Byte – Playing Solitaire

cardsHave you ever wondered why the simple art of pleasuring oneself, aka masturbation, is still taboo? The idea that masturbation stems from willful self-abuse goes back to the Genesis story of Onan, who spilled his seed upon the ground rather than into the wife of his dead brother and was struck down. Onanism is born. This new sin has the same terrible consequences as the one in the Old testament – death.

In 1712, an anonymously published pamphlet, Onania; or, The Heinous Sin of Self-Pollution, and all its Frightful Consequences in Both Sexes, Considered appeared in print to caution the unwary against the dangers of “self-pollution.” Onanism forever conjured up the “sin” of masturbation – the act of “wasting” one’s reproductive potential over feeling really good for pleasure’s sake.

As Thomas Laqueur puts it in his new book “Solitary Sex,” masturbation as a sin is a creature of the Enlightenment – as it reflected ideals contrary to the individual productively participating the larger social good. It was considered down right dangerous to the social order of things and as an indication of the collapse of culture and a return to the most primitive level of desire and gratification. Of course the demonizing and pathologizing of masturbation came hand and hand with new be all end all “cures” for the sickly syndrome – namely “strengthening tincture” and “prolific powder” which promised the sinner relief from such atrocious deeds. Continue reading CAKE Byte – Playing Solitaire

In the Beginning

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There was CAKE! Bear with us now, we are onto something big, we promise! No, no – we are not trying to top Darwin’s evolutionary theory on “the origin of species.” CAKE wants to document the origins of women’s sex lives to discover, for each of us, where it all began and how we have since evolved.

Contrary to popular thought, women are conscious of sexuality in the first years of life and all throughout childhood – leading up to puberty. Our childhood not only informs and sets in motion how we feel about our bodies, as well as imprints upon us what we like, think and act on, but is also key to our discovery of pleasure.

While the range of experience is virtually without bounds, there are common themes that run throughout women’s stories of their sexual origins including: playing with Barbie dolls, experimenting with childhood playmates, exploring our bodies for the first time and recognizing that “special” parts are more sensitive than others, and being spontaneously aroused in the classroom. These formative moments are key to how women experience sexuality later in life as adults, as mothers, as women and as partners. Continue reading In the Beginning

Three’s a Crowd

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Judging from YOUR responses to last week’s question – As a “straight” woman, what turns you on about a little girl on girl action? - women are very much testing the fluidity of sexual boundaries and exploration.

With all this talk about girl on girl action, it seems that women are making a stand on pleasure - living by a “give me pleasure or give me death” sort of attitude. Like the “girl on girl” fantasy, the “threesome” has long been the provenance of male sexual culture. But what about us girls? When it comes to threesomes, is three a crowd or do you say, “Bring it on!”?

Our culture assumes that one of the biggest male fantasies out there is to get it on with at least two girls or more at once, right? That said, when flipped around, women too could get a lot of mileage out of being with one partner at once. Let’s explore.  In our enlightened opinion, the threesome provides the following advantages for women.  (Of course this list is not exclusive, just a bit of written pondering…): Continue reading Three’s a Crowd

Hot Mama

hotmamaWith all the recent news of women, their careers and lack of reproductive capability, you would think that women all over the world have lost their raison d’etre — becoming a mother. A new study reports that the biological odds are against a woman over 35 bearing children, reopening the debate over kids and careers. Time Magazine’s cover story on “Babies vs. Careers” insists that “many ambitious young women who also hope to have kids are heading down a bad piece of road if they think they can spend a decade establishing their careers and wait until 35 or beyond to establish their families.” A full 42% of high-achieving women in corporate America were still childless after age 40. That figure rose to 49% for women who earn $100,000 or more. It seems that motherhood and career simply do not mix very well. Are getting the cash and having the kids mutually exclusive? Continue reading Hot Mama