It's Friday night, and you are out with your girls feeling it! It's summer, its hot, you're hot. After a full night of movin', groovin', and shakin' the one thing that would complete an otherwise splendid evening is to get LAID.

Where's the model for a healthy, fun, female-focused one-night stand?

Even though women can and do enjoy sex for sex's sake - as a culture, we still like to protect the myth that men would be happy with a lifetime of one night stands, and women are looking to tie the knot. A woman who steps outside these cultural roles, even in this post-Madonna era - is STILL - a "bad" girl.

So, CAKE is here to say, it's time to break the rules. No more good girls and bad girls - just CAKE girls, deciding what's right for themselves. Have no fear - cultural norms will catch up with us if we give them no choice.

"It was thanksgiving time, and all my friends had gone home for the holidays leaving me alone in the big city. Initially I had been excited to do the NY things that I swore I didn't normally have time for, museums, a show, movie-what have you. I decided I'd catch a movie at the Angelica that ended up being sold out so instead of just going home I thought it might be fun to head out to one of my favorite wine bars in SoHo for my first solo bar experience. After having a glass or two and chatting with the bartender and some mildly attractive guy in leather pants a bunch of after work types strolled in. Five men to be specific. I was feeling confident with my newfound independence, decided I was also going to go home with a stranger for the first time, so I strolled over and began talking with them. After about five minutes of speaking to one who I was particularly attracted to, I asked if he'd like to leave at which point he literally grabbed me by the arm and ran out the door. We got into a cab and drove uptown to his apartment without exchanging names or any personal information. Once inside he slowly undressed me and laid me on his bed taking off his clothes himself. He was very verbal which was terribly exciting. He was also a very good partner, taking his time to make sure I was satisfied- I swear he went down on me over ten times. After everything was over I dressed myself and slipped into the night." (Jennifer, 24)

The one-night stand is right for some, not for all, and requires a bit of forethought and responsibility. But with the adequate information, protection and partner, casual sex encounters can play a positive part in many women's sexual evolutions. So it's time that we ditch the double standards for good and allow women to enjoy their sexuality on their own terms.

The more time women spend developing our own sexuality and our own confidence with giving and getting pleasure, the better our sex life becomes, period! The one-night stand is not inherently a negative or a male experience. It is possible for women to have a pleasurable, responsible and safe one-night stand.

Let's break it down, shall we?

Taken for what it is, a one-night stand can be the ideal situation for a woman to articulate exactly what pleases her. At the end of the day, each participant is hoping to achieve the same goal - mutual pleasure. It can be an opportunity to try out new techniques, positions, or fantasies. A one-night stand can also allow you the freedom to try out a new sexual persona; whether it be the diva, the vamp, the professional - you can speak her words and let your imagination flow.

The one egg vs. millions of sperm theory is not enough to keep women in a supposed evolutionary defined role. In fact, one could argue that because women ovulate only once a month in contrast to the male 24/7 impregnating potential, that it is women, not men, who are more inclined to have sex simply for the pleasure of it all. Women have major fantasies about anonymous, no strings attached sex - and search for positive and enjoyable sexual release. Women should not be judged for having a one-night stand - either by their partner or their peers. This is the basis for one of CAKE's main goals - to challenge and change this culture and let women explore what they want in a safer context.

Women need more detailed, candid and current information about their bodies and how to achieve pleasure. Men need information too - ever think that maybe if female pleasure was an essential part of any sexual experience, women might enjoy and pursue the one night stand more often - hmm…! Access to accurate and relevant information, combined with a changing culture, allowing women to focus on sexual pleasure is integral. The only way for this to happen is by giving a voice to the experiences of women's personal sexual evolutions. Simultaneously, society around us needs to change and begin to encourage women to find pleasure. Pleasure for pleasure's sake.

Love,
CAKE