| CAKE Byte - Nature/Nurture | |||||
Here's one that you were probably unaware of - All human beings begin life as girls. Yes folks, it's true. After about six weeks, if the kid is destined to become a boy, testosterone is introduced in utero and the male sex organs begin to form from the female template. Once testosterone comes into play there is no turning back. The testes are formed from the same internal tissue as the ovaries but instead of remaining in the body, they descend into the scrotum. Who knew? We all have a little bit of womanly history in us. So if the genders are really part and parcel of each other - an evolutionary yin and yang if you will - why are so many of our culture's assumptions based on the supposed inherent biological divide between male and female sexuality? And when it comes to the age-old question of nature vs. nurture, why are will still talking about an archaic notion of the "battle of the sexes?" Perhaps we should turn to the experts for some insight. According to Helen Fisher, the noted biological anthropologist - "There is no such thing as 'nature versus nurture' in the biological world - instead nature and nurture work together in concert. However, we do not grow up and live in a vacuum. It is specific culture influences and norms that build on our biology resulting in women and men employing different lifestyle strategies to survive. When we embrace these differences we realize that the sexes complement each other to create a balanced culture." Biological differences in male and female sex drives are difficult to identify and impossible to separate from cultural influence. Just look and see how sexuality in general has been evolving - in our own culture and others - for proof of how our sexuality is defined by environment. A frothy mix of evolution, survival instincts, and culture has encouraged women and men to use different tactics for sexual expression. Fast forward to modern day with the advent of the pill and new reproductive technologies, and both men and women can choose to actualize sexuality as pleasure. This is a new age of freedom. Ask your mothers - previous generations of women report that they did not know sex was supposed to be enjoyable. And there's nothing biological about that... So why does our culture still generalize about the differences between male and female sex drives - the common (mis)perceptions being on one end of the spectrum that men like sex, women don't, men just want to get laid, women just want to get married, or equally offensive, on the other end of the spectrum - women are the new sexual aggressors or men are desensitized to sex from cultural over-titillation, e.g. too much Maxim... Female sexuality is not a black and white issue, nor must it be defined as the opposite of male sexuality. We are just beginning to explore all of the wonderful nuances of women's sexual lives - what women want, what turns us on, what gives us pleasure, what do we want to see, hear, touch, explore and so on. This is not a story of aggressiveness, nor passivity, but one of real life experience. Otherwise the story of female sexuality becomes a trend piece rather than a truly integrated and resonating part of our culture Since we do not exist in a vacuum and our sexuality is defined by our experiences in the culture around us, one way to start examining female sexuality is to explore sexual reference points already present in our culture. Though sexuality has been defined by the male perspective, nothing about sexuality is inherently and exclusively male. Equally, we are sick of those articles that proclaim "women are the new men." How condescending! Female sexual culture is changing as women finally explore ideas that previously only men have had the privilege to explore - NOT that women are becoming more "male." We say there should be an end to the discourse surrounding "nature versus nature" and "the battle of the sexes" and instead reframe the discussion within a pleasure paradigm - for both sexes. When we allow ourselves to experience pleasure, explore our fantasies, celebrate our differences and embrace our similarities, we are more apt to evolve sexually and we are much more likely to express our sexual desires with our partners - whether you are a man or a woman. Love,
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