With all the recent news of women, their careers and lack of reproductive capability, you would think that women all over the world have lost their raison dâ€™etre â€” becoming a mother. A new study reports that the biological odds are against a woman over 35 bearing children, reopening the debate over kids and careers. Time Magazineâ€™s cover story on “Babies vs. Careers” insists that “many ambitious young women who also hope to have kids are heading down a bad piece of road if they think they can spend a decade establishing their careers and wait until 35 or beyond to establish their families.” A full 42% of high-achieving women in corporate America were still childless after age 40. That figure rose to 49% for women who earn $100,000 or more. It seems that motherhood and career simply do not mix very well. Are getting the cash and having the kids mutually exclusive?
Itâ€™s a classic Catch-22 – slowing a career to start a family and taking the risk that you will never catch up, or alternatively embracing a “male model” of single-minded career focus, resulting in “an epidemic of childlessness” among professional women according to the study. What a nightmare â€” women sacrificing having babies for their careers and vice versa. Conclusion: in order for women to be serious breadwinners we must give up our hopes for having it all â€” Or do we? Do we really have to choose one over the other??? Hell no!
Whatâ€™s really going on? Stories like “Babies vs. Careers” unnecessarily pit two life choices against each other in an attempt to ignore the double standard that exists in our culture today when it comes to women and motherhood. From limits in health insurance coverage, lack of adequate and affordable child care, poor maternity and paternity leave programs and archaic laws that categorize pregnant women in the workplace as “disabled,” the real “epidemic” is that our society simply does not support the multiplicity of femininity, as well as the idea of family in general. There is nothing biological about being forced to choose “either/or,” rather than “yes to all of the above!”
Indeed, in this modern day, women are getting married later, making more money and delaying our reproductive capacities, but we are also experiencing our sexuality more deeply and more pleasurably. Here at CAKE, we are pleased to report on the real life phenomenon of what we are calling theÂ Sexy Mom. The Sexy Mom gives a voice to the modern day girl who has her CAKE and eats it too. As opposed to the incongruous title of “domestic goddess” that implies a natural female proclivity for household work (yeah, right!) or the all encompassing, self-sacrificing, impossible and childless “Superwoman” â€” Sexy Mom reflects the uncompromised woman who does not compartmentalize her life, but celebrates the fluidity of femininity . Women can indeed embody multitudes.
Motherhood is the ultimate manifestation of becoming a sexual being â€” from the act of conceiving itself, giving birth, breastfeeding, having swollen breasts, and hormones in overdrive. Just as our culture demands women to be either mother or career woman, it also makes an arbitrary decision to cut us off from our sexuality once we become mothers. Women are not allowed to be Mama, professional, as well as a sexual person. We all know that mothers are not sexual, right? How absurd! If anything, we as women become more sexual, more sexually confident and more in tuned with our own sexual capacity. CAKE loves Sexy Moms! (CAKE also loves happy endings, but that’s another story all together…)
You know the ones â€” those women who strut their stuff with their babies on their backs, walking the city streets and glorifying in what it means to be a woman and express a femininity through childbearing. Sexy Moms exhibit this very quality every day. Lest we forget, having a baby comes directly from the source of pleasure â€” the sexual interaction. Instead of romanticizing motherhood â€” we know of itâ€™s constraints, joy, sacrifices, and rewards – we give credence to mothers who have chosen to personify the role to be many things as well as mother, falling into that new and beautiful category of “Sexy Mom” â€” a deserving title for a pleasurable occupation. Unfortunately, our society is not ready for this type of female icon.
Unlike the MILF (“mother Iâ€™d like to fuck” for you laypeople) syndrome laid out by sophomoric males, and chronicled in the idiotic, but scarily popular (and still downright funny) “American Pie”, the Sexy Mom embodies a sense of pride, prowess, and a go get â€˜ em attitude that says “I am a sexual creature.” Of course! Whatâ€™s the problem with a real life shift in the sexual power dynamics of women on the street. CAKE gives tribute and acknowledgement to all of those Sexy Moms out there who have managed to take on role as mother, professional, and sexual being because as far as we know, no one is giving them their due. What we need now is for our social institutions, cultural expectations and in some cases our male partners to come up to speed. Then we would not have to read silly titles on national magazines like “Babies vs. Career,” instead it would read “First Female President has Baby While in Office!”
Tip of the Week:
Never, ever go to bed without having an orgasm.
Question of the Week
Growing up, how did your mom affect your sexuality?Â