Last Week's Question:

Feed it back to us - we want some feedback! As we plan the extensive schedule of CLUB.CAKE events for 2003, we want to know from YOU what you want to see more of, less of and most importantly - get creative CAKE.Girls - Tell us how sculpt CAKE events to bring your fantasies to life.

Thank you for your responses. Your feedback will be used to guide the evolution of CLUB.CAKE.

How do you use the interplay of domination and submission in your sex life, either in fantasy or in reality?

I am the submissive, however I can't find a man (yet) to explore this properly (only sexually). I want my hair pulled, I want to be told how to suck his dick in a profane way. I want to be handled in public (subtly or sneakingly). I want to be told 'meet me in the men's room in the third stall' (at a restaurant).

I am a switch, meaning I am and enjoy being both a Top (Domme) or a bottom (sub) depending on my partner - or my mood. As a bottom i love bondage...being tied and forced to have orgasms...beyond the point that i would normally stop the sexual act. Vibrators are amazing for this! My favorite is the Hitachi Magic wand with the g-spot attachment! As a top i like to force my partner to worship my heels, submit and allow me to use my strap-on to give him a fuck of his life. In fantasy - to be dominated by a woman wearing

I love the feeling of a man sneaking up on me from behind. I could simply be standing at the sink, doing the dishes and he would walk up behind me and gently (at first) start to kiss my neck. It gets better and better from there. I can feel his hard cock throbbing and pulsing as it presses up against my ass. I am wearing a t-shirt, with nothing underneath (what I wear to bed most of the time) and he knows it. He commands me to keep doing the dishes and not to stop no matter what. I obey his command and start to moan with anticipation. Then, he starts to grab me and move my hips into his hard cock and bites my neck and my ear lobes, as he whispers in my ears, I'm going to take you from behind ~ and you are going to like it! I am extremely wet and hot and he hasn't even pulled out his cock yet. I want him to take me from behind....an on and on and on....by the time he touches my clit, i orgasm on the spot, all the while, doing the dishes and trying to act as if nothing is happening out of the ordinary....

Any relationship involves B/D/S/M roles, with one person taking control and the other submitting. For me, after a particularly rough day at work, I had my partner make all the weekend plans. He told me where to show up, and I was there. Of course, I knew a particularly short skirt would drive him crazy, so I wore it. So who was really in control? It's intriguing that most roles aren't strictly submissive or dominant; it always seems to be a mixture.

Is this coincidence or what? I am going to a bondage expo this weekend. They say fetishes start young or somewhere in adolescence. With all the men that came after my first love I like to be the dominate one. I like to be the one who initiates all the moves the first time I have sex with a new partner. With my first love, he bought hand cuffs and would hand cuff me once in a while. In order for me to let my self go and be the submissive there has to be a total trust in the person I am with. Once I did something to piss him off. When I went over his house the next day he set up this scenario where he blindfolded me. Tied my hands with rope behind my back. Then he tied my feet together with rope. Then he greased me with baby oil. Then he fucked me. To this day I get turned on thinking about that day. Last year while cleaning out my draws I found the hand cuffs and used them on my husband. My husband is not the dominating type in the bedroom. At first he didn't know what to think. Then he was totally turned on while I paid attention to every part of his body. Can't wait to see what new toys I could get this weekend....

What is your favorite vibrator and why?
And if you could - how would you improve your vibrator?

After extensive testing, the Hitachi Magic Wand emerged as the winner. Adored for both its speed and intensity, the Magic Wand also says 'I'm so unashamed of my sexuality that I bought a big ol' vibrator that plugs in the wall and is too big to hide!' I like boldness in a vibrator. The only improvement I'd make is to package it with a custom foam extension (some kind of small bowl that you'd sit on and fill with foam goo, which would then harden and function as a custom-fit vibrator cover). All that extra vibration - I'm getting shivers just thinking about it.

My favorite is the one I can buy a lot of different attachments for. I currently have the egg and the life like Penis. But the greatest part of it is that there are 5 control settings plus 1-10 level of intensity! I can go from the ordinary to pulsating to a roller coaster of all 10 levels.

In my bottom dresser drawer, there's a collection of vibrators from the very first one I bought about 15 years ago...Although I probably bought about 1 or 2 each year, I hardly ever used them. Too big, too hard, too small, too noisy, one or two I just couldn't figure out. I just kept buying and trying them out blindly. The result? I hardly ever used one! I just figured that they weren't for me. Then CAKE came along with this incredible collection of toys I'm just working my way through! Each one is just lovely - haven't been disappointed yet. They are so obviously made with a woman's body in mind. Perfect sizes, shapes, textures, they are all versatile- unlike those clunky penis-shaped things that crowd the walls of stores and fill catalogs. I've discovered completely different kinds of orgasms through these toys; now I'm having more than ever!!! My hands-down favorite so far is the Strawberry. From the moment I saw the packaging covered in pink Japanese lettering - it's like a kinky Hello Kitty toy. Inside, the smell of new rubber reminds you of opening a new Barbie doll - a scent that brings back the excitement of your fifth birthday!!! Firm texture filled with all those tiny beads, even the noise is a very faint, relaxing whir, like a ceiling fan. The speed control is unbelievable! You are able to fine-tune it to the perfect intensity! And it's so cute!!! You want to put it EVERYWHERE, inside and out….

The vibrator I currently use is big, blue and made for shower use. This last feature was especially important to me, as I usually feel more erotic when I'm wet head to toe. It's really a vibrating dildo, shaped like this giant perfect cock not unlike my own boyfriend's penis. I might like a different color, something more realistic but it has nice tight balls sculpted with the shaft and the curvature is good. The only problem is that the main part of the shaft is hard, to accommodate the batteries. My ideal vibrator/dildo would be soft and flexible like a real cock, and maybe a bit smaller. I only had two size choices and this was at my city's largest store of sex toys, Babes In Toyland! Well, maybe in NYC there are more choices. What I really want, really really really more than anything is: a vibrating dildo in the perfect size, the color of flesh and flexible yet hard of course with.....a suction cup!!! So I can stick it to the wall of my shower(and it better stay on with super strength) and just bend over slightly and fuck myself silly! I've seen suction cup dildos in catalogues, but they're not very big and don't vibrate. I'd be willing to settle for something that didn't vibrate, since I just bought a 6-setting massaging shower head with the express purpose of using it to masturbate! It would also be very cool for there to be a contraption that worked like a strap-on in reverse, and had it's own pumping mechanism so you could just lay back and let it do all the work! Just like a real man! Thanks for letting me share my ideas, I could talk about sex all day long.

the egg is one of my personal favorites, just because its so damn cheep. Keeping myself pleasured is no joke. The quality doesn't matter, ILL BREAK IT! i bought a pocket rocket and broke that faster than my $20 egg. so after batteries and replacements every 3 months, who can afford the rabbit? it does the job and i pass out.

I masturbated last night for the first time. I'm a virgin, for numerous reasons, and I have no intentions of changing my virginal status until I get married. Even so, a girl still needs some pleasuring! So I took things into my own hands (literally!). I started out by just rubbing my hands down my body, over my breasts, around my bellybutton, and down my hipbones until I reached my inner thighs. I explored my clitoris, rubbing it, pinching it, pushing on it. I moved my hands down to my vaginal opening, spreading the lips and putting my fingers inside myself, exploring myself for the first time. My nerves were so alive, so on fire. I felt more aching and desiring between my legs than I have ever felt--it felt so good! I put two fingers inside myself, and used the heel of the same hand to rub my clitoris. I rubbed, harder, harder, faster, faster, breathing heavier, heavier, sweat breaking out all over my body. I felt so empowered, so in control, so fucking sexy! I shuddered, bringing my fingers to my mouth to taste my juices for the first time. I'm a little hot right now; I think I'll go give it another try!

My favorite vibrator is the clit licker. I love the different vibrations...how it can be easily stored and travels well. It makes me come within 10 minutes and is capable of giving multiple orgasms.....it also works well on the nipples.... I would improve it by having the tongue part move up and down like humans tongue while the rest of it sucks...... It would be wonderful!!!!

My favorite vibrator is my little silver egg with attached controls. It's absolutely the best, and combined with the jelly-type All American Male dildo, well, you just can't go wrong!!!

The Hitachi Magic Wand, it has real power and can get you off over and over again. I just wish it was a little quieter.

Hi girls! (and guys). My favorite vibrator is the Pocket Rocket because it's super small and quite, but oh so powerful... Comes with different rubber sleeves with all kinds of ticklers and sensory bumps for added pleasure. It's the best 35 bucks a single girl could spend! Only improvement I would make to this toy is a device to make it hot or cool on the skin.

I have not found a favorite vibrator. I lived in Amsterdam for three years. I worked quite a bit when I lived there, so I had money but no time. The only shops open in the evening were the sex shops. Needless to say, I have tried quite a number of dildos and vibrators. I do really like the double balls one inserts in the vagina and intend to get a vibrating pair of those. I have seen a number of parameters that would be required are: 1. Rechargeable batteries that are built into the vibrator, similar to that of modern CD players. It should also be able to be used plugged directly into the mains. 2. Anatomically shaped, or ergometric and modern, not shaped like a penis or dolphin 3. If penis shaped, it should be able to be mounted on something gel filled or inflatable. Women could then ride it as they would in inverse missionary position (woman on top), one of the easier positions for women to obtain a G-spot or vaginal orgasm. 4. Electrostimulus. It is possible to damage the delicate skin of the clitoral hood and clitoris with high powered vibrators. I keep looking, buying somewhat unsatisfactory objects that may only fill one or two of my criteria. Disappointment. More women need to design vibrators and dildos.

I have several great vibes, each one is special for different reasons. But the one that always rocks my world is the Kandi Heart Vibe, which is a six-inch hard plastic vibrator with an upside-down heart shaped tip. It packs a powerful punch buzz-wise which sends my clit into sheer orgasmic delight, and the smoothness and hardness of the plastic feels awesome as it slides in and out of my pussy. Mmmmmm. I like the fact that I can control the intensity of the vibrations--sometimes I need the added stimulation and sometimes I want to use it without the buzz.

In spite of the fact that the mere sight of my pink rabbit pearl turns me on (the undulating pearls! the persistent flutter of the ears!), my favorite vibrator is still the giant electric body massager. It never runs out of juice, so it never lets me down. I do wish it had lower speeds. I also think standard vibrators should come with electrical adapters and better handles. There's nothing to hang onto when a vibrator is buried deep in your pussy, and that's annoying. A handle that comes off the vibrator at a 45-degree angle and that has the vibrator controls might do the trick. A wireless remote would also be a fun accessory when playing with a friend (imagine him/her sitting in a chair across the room, watching, yet controlling the level of stimulation-- hot!). Thanks for the opportunity to... um... daydream!

i have 2 favorites: 1. swedish erotica-its about 10 years old. would improve it by making one that is not a plug-in, but its great for solo use. 2. recently discovered a version of the rabbit that has a ring that goes around tha mans dick, while the rabbit portion stimulates the womans clit. it also has a control for speed.

I don't use a vibrator and have never found the need for one. Digital stimulation really puts me in touch with my clitoris. I discovered masturbation at the age of six through touching myself, and have enjoyed it that way every since. In fact, the only way for me to reach orgasm is through either digital or oral stimulation. I have tried three different vibrators (two gifts, one I purchased for myself), as I have read so much about vibrators in women's magazines, etc. etc. I felt left out and thought I should try these so-called magic tools and find out what all the promotion was about. What I found was that the actual vibration is too much, very off-putting to my delicacy. I found it too easy to achieve orgasm; this was not satisfying at all. Because I missed stages of arousal, the orgasm was not as strong. I liken it to fast food, something I have occasionally when on the road, but always think, why bother? I suppose these tools are very helpful to a great many people looking for a quick fix and/or for those who like to masturbate often and quickly and just get to the orgasm without much work. And that's just fine. Therefore, my suggestion would be to design some type of tool (maybe it's out there already) that lovingly and SLOWLY touches the clitoral area with the softness of a feather, and does so in STROKES (not vibration). One other thing: when I read Xavier Hollander while babysitting at the age of fourteen, she had noted that she advised her girls to stay away from vibrators, as they create a need for a certain type of stimulation, and hence what is natural becomes more difficult to experience. I'm not agreeing or disagreeing with this, but it did influence me and I do prefer natural. I like to take the time to get close to orgasm just by fantasizing - and then I caress. This is a perfect mind-body experience and can be done anywhere there is privacy - and all I need is myself.

My favourite vibrator has got to be the Rampant Rabbit (the fastest Orgasm in the west) I rated it so much, i bought my mum one for Christmas, and for the first time in years we talk regularly now! It's my favourite firstly, because its quite soft and warm, and although is shaped like a penis, is in funky colours rather than flesh (YUK). Also, it looks like it has sweets inside which is cute. As well as its aesthetic attributes, it delivers me an intense orgasm (as yet unmatched by any male) I would improve it by making the motor more powerful- often the circular motion does not work hard enough- it needs to be more robust. The new version houses the batteries in the shaft so no need for annoying control packs- this would have been my main improvement. However, having the option to switch off the circular motion is all very well, but a clever improvement would be to enable the user to bend the shaft. This would make the vibro more versatile and able to reach those elusive areas. If i were to design a new vibrator, it would have to be something that could be used 'hands free'. For example, when using one on your own, it makes it difficult to do other stuff (don't ask!) I would also offer more anal products - but ones that don't look so threatening - why these have to be black i don't know.

most definitely the magic wand... i don't need penetration to get-off. but if they could make a vibe that was not so 'rickety' as most are made ~ I then might be more interested in sticking it in myself! :)

my favorite vibe will have to be the clit stim. because you can strap on the tongue and lie back while it works with a remote.

My favorite vibrator is one in which I received as a bridal shower gift. It is called The Dolphin. It is the most wonderful toy!! My now husband slips the cock-ring part on, and the nose of the dolphin rubs my clit. At the back of the dolphin, where it's tail would be is a vibrating bullet, which is positioned ever-so-well at my anus. I tell you... the orgasms with this thing!! It hits all the right spots in all the right times!

after some in depth research my favorite vibrator is the eroscillator. can't imagine what i did without it. had to by the euro version when i lived abroad. the only thing it can't do is buy you dinner.

I've been using the very basic and very perfect silver bullet for about the past five years. It's small and sleek - a simple design that looks exactly as the name sounds. It's about five inches long, cold metal, in a distended ovular shape. For me, it's all about a nice hard vibration directly on my clit, and sometimes some in and out motion down below. The silver bullet accomplishes both tasks perfectly. I've played with some softer toys before, but they just don't get me off with quite the same...authority. I love my sb so much that I'm currently on my 10th or 11th one...I burn the motors out a couple of times a year! I don't think I could improve upon my vibrator. It's great both alone and in pairs - I love to play with it while my boyfriend massages my breasts and kisses me. Sometimes I let him take the controls and he'll tease me by moving from slow to fast motion and back and forth again and again. I've met a few women over the years who do not masturbate and/or do not own vibrators and I feel like they are really missing out. The time I spend with my silver bullet is time I spend with me, exploring and loving and positively reinforcing myself. I think every woman should do the same!

My Rabbit Pearl course! My boyfriend is useless.... The Pearl is my closest friend for now..... If I could improve it... I would attach it to my lover they are about the same size without the rabbit.... Have to have that rabbit

The Eroscillator hands down.... This is the most wonderful contraption to conjure up the most delightful and sensual orgasms in my own personal history as well as a my girlfriend's (whom I recommended to buy as well). For my girlfriend however, this is how she found she has the ability for female ejaculation...and I am still waiting!

My favorite vibrator (so far -- though I'm due to upgrade at Eve's Garden where they let you sample the vibes on your hand before you buy --) is The Pink Pearl, aka The Magic Bullet. It's the perfect shape for direct, but adjustable clitoral stimulation. I've found that larger, hard and even pointy vibrators just don't do it for a good, powerful clitoral orgasm. The surface is smooth, and smoother when using personal lubricant. I've also recently discovered x-tra virgin olive oil as a wonderful lubricant for any kind of sensual purpose, better than anything I've ever used with or without a vibrator. I'd make improvements to it by doing away with the annoying wire attached to the intensity and battery pack. Tends to get caught up in your business like a wedgie if you're moving around. I'd also like to see more skin-like textures which retain both warmth and the flexibility of the erect penis. Dildo-style vibrators are still cold and hard and inflexible, and I see this questionnaire as an inspiring and worthwhile call to action for inventing better female sex toys. I loved the article that led me to answer this questionnaire. Well written, informative, and compelling.

although vibrators ARE a woman's best friend-(i prefer the small egg-shaped ones), I am a 100% shower-power girl! i get wet just thinking about getting wet...there's something sensual to me about pulsing/dripping water touching me...

My Hitachi Magic Wand, hands down (or off!) is my favorite vibe. It can get me off quickly or infuriatingly slowly, depending upon the angle of use. And it doubles as a great massager for sore backs - what more could you ask for?! I'd love to improve it by giving it more speeds. Turns out it's more difficult to have an orgasm with a partner after solely using my Magic Wand for a few months...how sad!

I love the good old back massager turned vibrator....anything that can stimulate the clitoris well has my vote. My old vibrator (aka massager) burnt out a year ago...I have not been able to find a replacement.....(tears of sadness) I would improve it by...1.it never burns out 2. it had an attachment where one was shaped and felt like a penis... A girl can never have too many attachments!

Megan executive California: My favorite vibrator has to be my hungry bear. Not only is it purple (my favorite color) it is the one thing that can make me cum in under a minute. It is large and in charge(of me). The part that penetrates rotates in a circle while the bear on top with a fish in it's mouth vibrates my clit. It has a remote so I can use it alone or with my partner. I would not give my hungry bear up for anything. It's name really fits itself. It makes me hungry...for more.

I love the Hitachi Magic-Wand. Just wish it weren't that big. Multi-use is where it's at and penetration IS important. Some more speed controls wouldn't hurt either...after all just the shock method isn't all there is.

hello cake! re: best vibrators hitachi: why? i] use any where; ii]hygienic as can be covered in cloth; iii] only machine that can be used to 'buff'; 'Colgate' electric toothbrush: why? i] surprisingly small hence easily acceptable by a novice; ii] naturally hygienic; iii] unbeatable for individual clitoral, nipples and earlobe stimulation; most important: coconut oil is the gentlest lubricant, though walnut oil is not far behind ..

Tell us what you would like to see in the "CAKE Guides to Female Sexuality?"

When it comes to visual information that demonstrates sexual techniques and skills to women while also being educational and entertaining, most of what is out there comes packaged in a cheeseball style for "how-to" this and "the advanced guide" to that.

Women have needs and questions, and nowhere to get this answered in a smart, intelligent, fun and visually compelling format...until now.

It would be nice to see something in between a dry diatribe by a physician and a silly Cosmo-style lesson. Many of us, even if we have had many sexual experiences, are often ignorant of sexual issues, as we have not been aware of our power and the pursuit of pleasure because of religion, to name but one of myriad reasons. Knowledge is power and in the sexual arena, we must have knowledge to live full lives with self-esteem and in safety.

i enjoy porn and i would like to purchase some. i want to get porn that is female friendly to watch and female friendly to make. i would enjoy porn more if i knew that the women that make it were getting paid fairly and were allowed to use condoms with there partners. any suggestions?

If Photographic/Sketed: Must be of real people, imperfect bodies. Much more of him in the pic: his pre semen on her for example. Let's see more varieties of breasts, more versions of penises. Create a coffee table book-like format where you pick it up and say 'Damn, that is interesting/great/fun, I'll have to give it a try!! Rather than laugh at how far from anyone you know is displayed.

I have a difficult time climaxing with a man, and despite being very open sexually, think it probably is due to the fact that my personal techniques are limited. I would like to see/hear about ways other women get off so it could help me have more pleasurable and two-way sexual experiences.

i would like to see the truth!!!! nothing posed. nothing contrived. nothing taken from a survey. nothing suggested by a panel of so-called experts. because all anybody needs is the truth. from a curious male.

More adventurous techniques, not classic text book scenarios. More practical ideas of achieving pleasure for each other. Information on everything taboo, tackled properly rather than side-stepped. In the main, food sex is a big sexual cliche - how about something that explores more adventurous ideas?

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